Favorite Bird?

Rosie and I were taking a walk at lunch one day last winter on the bike trail behind my office which happens to be adjacent to Blackhawk Country Club. It is one feature that I like about our office location as it provides an opportunity to have some decent bird sightings even though my office is in near the middle of Madison. On our walk that day I was reminded what a beautiful and eye-catching sight a bright red male cardinal can be in winter!

This sighting has left me wondering if I have a favorite bird? I certainly have a list of favorites but I am not sure that a single favorite comes to mind. Cardinals are always in my “favorites” list. On that walk I thought that in winter my favorite bird probably is a male cardinal because the color they add to the landscape. Another winter favorite from home is the eagles that congregate along the river! This was a good winter for eagle sightings with a top day of 27 birds between Highway 12 and the dam!

This got me thinking that maybe i have a list of favorite birds with a changing top bird(s) for different seasons… Since that time, many other birds have been at the top of my list. As winter turns to spring, the sound of sandhill cranes always stops me in my tracks. The call of a blue bird and the sound of turkeys gobbling from the roost filled Rosie and my morning walks along the river this year. And we were lucky enough to see some pelicans and a loon stopping over on their way north. And now we are graced with the song of orioles and the little house wren next door!

 Choosing one bird to call a favorite may be too much for me…what do you think? 

Life…

Four years ago today my life changed in a drastic way, and i am still trying to wrap my mind around this event. I don’t typically post things like this (actually, for the past 180 days i guess haven’t posted anything) however, this being the anniversary of my sisters passing I feel I owe her. The following is a piece that I wrote on that day, it is unedited and straight from my heart. I miss you Lynn!

In loving memory of Lynn Marie Zogbaum, December 27, 1970 – April 25, 2009

From your brother, Randy

 

Today my sister, Lynn Marie Zogbaum, passed away.  She was only 38 years old although she had been through a lot.  She has been struggling with many health issues and finally could not take any more… 

 

Today my sister died.  She was only 38 years old.  She had been trying to get on disability so she could pay for the medical attention she needed.  She worked most of her life but for the last two or three years could not hold a job.  She had many health problems and could never quite find a way to overcome them…

 

Today my sister died.   She was only 38 years old. She had some medical coverage with her last real full-time job…that was almost 5 years ago…I had thought that job would pull her out of her funk…she was really making huge strides on that job.  She had moved up from working in the Wal-Mart Photo studios as a photographer; to a manager, and then a district manager.  She really was building on her confidence and found the strength to move to Mosinee by herself!  Unfortunately she was also getting sicker at the time…her diabetes progressed to the point of being insulin dependant.…she had fairly long sick leave periods that she was not able to travel the several hundred miles between each of her stores.  She covered all of northern Wisconsin and the UP during that time, over 700 miles between her farthest two stores.   She was let go…she never filed any law suit or even saw a lawyer but she was essentially fired because of her illnesses.  She tried to find other work and was employed in a warehouse but at a much lower wage and eventually had to move back to our parents home in Madison…

 

Today my sister died.  She was only 38 years old.  She tried to find work in Madison and was eventually hired on a temporary basis at Target.   She did a good enough job that she was asked to come on permanently.    She was having problems with the pain in her legs and not able to stand and eventually this job was too much for her as well.  She needed surgery on her back…Her medical bills were becoming gigantic and she had no way to pay for them.  She was finally forced to file for bankruptcy and suffer the humiliation that comes with that process.  She never was able to work again… 

 

TODAY MY SISTER DIED!  SHE WAS ONLY 38 YEARS OLD!  She filed for disability and the last hope for an independent life.  She was promptly denied!  Meanwhile her medical condition was getting worse.  Insulin is a very expensive drug.  To complicate things she also had high blood pressure and the diabetes was starting to take its toll on her body.  Her legs hurt to the point she could not stand.  She finally found a lawyer that took her disability case…they had a hearing scheduled but due to the backlog of cases it is still TWO YEARS AWAY!  She owed money again on her medical bills to the point that hospitals and some doctors would no longer see her…her most frequent calls were from the bill collectors that specialize in demeaning you to the point you pay your bills…the only problem is she could not work to get any money and the government said she did not qualify for disability and the medical coverage that comes with it, she had filed bankruptcy, couldn’t work, spent her life in pain and suffering but these wonderful people found a way to take what little dignity she had and squeeze out of her…

TODAY MY SISTER DIED!  SHE WAS ONLY 38 YEARS OLD…her body had already suffered enough.  She died alone in her bedroom at my parent’s house.  I can only imagine the fear and loneliness knowing that she could not call for help because she owed the hospitals too much already…  My dad told me that he was going to vacuum this morning but decided not to because he did not want to wake Lynn up as she sounded so peaceful sleeping in her room so he decided to go fishing for a while.  A few hours later my mom decided to check on her because she is usually up and found her lying dead on her bed.  She called my dad because she did not know what else to do.  My dad told her to call 911 and he was coming home.  He arrived the same time as ambulance…but Lynn had been gone for some time…

Today my sister died, she was 38 years old but had suffered a life-time of suffering.   I only have one question in my mind right now: Why?  I know most people ask that but what mean is why can this country turn its back so easily on its poor and sick?  How can we be the last wealthy country that does not have health care?  All of the health problems my sister had were curable but she did not have the medical insurance to cover the care…and now she is gone…  My solace, and my families is that the pain is finally over for Lynn’s soul and she is happy again, that surely is a good thing…I just hope that some day we decide as a country, or at least a state, that enough is enough and we will really come together and build a better country that does not turn its back on its poor and sick…    

Joy of a dog…from Sara K.

It has been a long time since I have created a blog post and I will get back to it soon but I am trying a little side adventure tonight and sharing a guest post from my friend and hunting partner Sara. More from me, Jenny, Jackson, and Rosie (at least from me) soon…

Oct. 30, 2012 from Sara K.

Rosie and I headed out to meet two friends at Mud Lake Wildlife Area.  They were both desperate to hunt, so much so that they were already out trying to hunt some small fields with no dog.  After we met up, we went to a field that I have never hunted at Mud Lake, but had pretty promising cover.  Rosie got birdy once, just before we left the field, but no birds.  She was working pretty well between three people though, and she seemed to find every mouse in the field!

Rosie was very reluctant to leave the field – I think she thought we were done for the day, and she wasn’t ready to quit!  After finally stuffing her in the car (literally) we went to the next field.  After getting off the leash at the parking lot, Rose took off like a bullet down the stocking trail.  My friend Nate was closest to her, and I told him to try to stay with her as I figured she had seen a bird on the trail as they tend to congregate on this trail which is right next to the treeline.  We were able to call Rosie, so that she at least stopped on the trail so we could catch up somewhat.  When she got to the corner of the field, she sniffed around just enough that Nate was able to catch up, before she took off down the trail again after it made a 90 degree bend.  Sure enough, she must have been able to see the bird again, as I was hardly able to call out to Nate to stay with her when all of sudden two pheasants shot up in the air in opposite directions almost underneath Rose.  One was too far to shoot, but flew right up into one of the trees near the field.  The other flew straight at Nate.  I didn’t know, but this was Nate’s first pheasant hunt!  Anytime you have a pheasant fly right at you, it’s a rush – but the first time is really exciting and is very easy to get so excited that you forget to put the gun stock to your cheek – which is exactly what Nate did!  He emptied his gun at this pheasant, who never seemed perturbed that Nate was trying to shoot it, it kept coming right at him!  After Nate’s gun was emptied (3 shots), the bird finally decided to turn and landed in a tree right next to the field.  Rosie was watching the whole time and ran to the foot of the tree and sat there, basically pointing the bird in the tree.  Nate was sort of hanging his head in shame, but I told him to go ahead and load up again so Rosie could get her bird.  As all this was happening, my other friend (Mike) and myself were still walking through the field towards the wood line.  I turned to say something to Mike and saw that he had his gun up, and BOOM! He shot the other pheasant that had flown up into the trees.  It was a pretty long shot, but he said he was afraid it would fly off into the woods the other way if we got any closer.  It sort of sprialed out of the tree and landed near a brush pile, which it was able to flop under.  I told Mike to wait to get that one until Rosie got Nate’s bird and we could send her into the brush pile.  Rosie was elated to get her mouth on Nate’s bird, but we got her to the brush pile where she saw the second bird and it was Rosie versus Pheasant, round 2!  She dove into the brush pile and the pheasant kept hopping around her.  It finally jumped up to the top of the brush pile, and Rosie was just about to launch herself up the brush pile when the bird took off flying and it came flying out into the open field again.  Surprised us, as we didn’t think it would be able to fly!  I was standing closest so I swung on it and dropped it in the field.  Of course we let Rosie “find” that one too – getting lots of praise in the process! After we picked up the 2nd pheasant, Nate came over carrying his bird, admiring it and commented that this was the first pheasant he ever shot.  Way to go Rose – got another hunter hooked!  We hunted the rest of the field, and Rosie worked her tail off.  She was very birdy near the property line, and I saw a pheasant out of the corner of my eye dart out of the public land grass cover into the neighbor’s woods.  I’m sure Rosie would have found that one in another 2 minutes had he stuck around.  Coming out she was working another bird really hard, but we just couldn’t find him.  Some other friends of mine hunted this same field about an hour after we left, and were able to put this bird up – I think he may have gone out to the road where I wouldn’t let Rose follow while we were there.  Of course we had to take some pictures of Rose’s hard work when we got back to the parking lot.  Way to go Rosie!  We left with a bunch of happy hunters and a happy, tired, dog!

Later, Rosie got a rare treat for a dog when she paid a visit to the state game farm, where most of the stocked pheasants in the state are raised.  I think she may have thought it was nirvana.  I also ended up having to clean out one of our freezers ther while Rosie was with me, which she found fascinating.  So many carcasses, so little time.

Until next time Rosie dog, I can’t wait!

Joy of a Dog…

It has been a while since I shared anything on Rosie so I thought a little update might be in order. What does a hunting dog do for fun in the summer? Hunt for fish! Rosie spends hours on patrol for bass and bluegills.

And when she gets tired of patroling on foot it becomes time to ride an innertube!

Check out this video…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfo0y2NwRh4&feature=youtu.be

And if that gets too much time for a canoe ride! Of course trying to convince her the ride is over is never easy!

photo by K. Meier

Land Ethic Leaders Training – Aldo Leopold Foundation August 9-10, 2012

Land Ethic Leaders Training – Aldo Leopold Foundation August 9 &10

https://www.aldoleopold.org/Programs/lel.shtml

I had the good fortune to attend the latest Land Ethic Leaders training by the Aldo Leopold Foundation on August 9 & 10 at their Legacy Center Headquarters near Baraboo, WI. I knew this was going to be a special training not just for the content but also for the location and it was an opportunity to work with good friends in a way that we don’t often interact. We started the training by going through an excercise designed to demonstrate the facilitation method we were going to spend the next two days practicing by reading Aldo Leopold’s essay ”Thinking Like a Mountain.” I have read this essay several times but never experienced it in quite the same way.

The essay “Thinking Like a Mountain” by Aldo Leopold is a beautiful and thought provoking piece. It shows an amazing look back – an autobiographical view on the life that Aldo Leopold lived, and a look at his growth, his change in views throughout his life. How the views of a young man, fueled by the knowledge of his time, change as time moves forward, as new knowledge is gained, as perspective of years and experience build. Time is a constant we all deal with- how we grow with, and sometimes apart, from societal views. We live in a time of almost unbelievable technological growth. I wonder, though, was there ever a time that technological growth seemed slow? When we look at things through the lens of our times it can seem as if technological growth did not exist in history.  But I find myself wondering what it must have felt like at that particular time. When Aldo lived, when Muir lived, when Thoreau lived – times where changing then too…maybe at what seemed like break-neck speed. After all the growth of civilization, and with it the growth of technology, started not in our times but with the first moments that clans of humans started to wander this earth.

          I digress. Not the path I started on, but, as my friends and family know, I tend to wander through life…The path I started on was thinking about this particular essay, and the workshop we were reviewing it in – The Land Ethic Leaders training developed and presented by the Aldo Leopold Foundation. We read this essay to start off the training, reading together and out loud at the beginning of workshop to demonstrate a new facilitation technique. The discussion focused on Leopold’s essay, reflecting on his changing views, his growth, maybe even progress towards a new view. And regret? That is for people far more intelligent and thoughtful than me to decide.

My thoughts here result from a comment, rather a question, from one of those more intelligent and thoughtful people in this workshop (one of many…). The question, posed as the group was discussing the meaning of this timeless piece, came near the end of our reflection time. Near the end of an hour long intellectual and emotional rollercoaster ride, our first trip into this relatively new (at least new to me) facilitation process. One designed to do just exactly that; provide time to reflect on, connect to each other and our own views and beliefs about our Land Ethic. 

“Why the “green” fire that burned out as the wolf died?” I found the question intriguing. A wolf does not typically have green eyes, after all. There were a few attempts to answer this question but time was running out for this discussion. Our introductory rollercoaster ride was nearing the end of its hour long journey (one that pushed my thoughts about and, surprisingly to me, my emotional connection with, this particular piece of writing). This was surely a great exercise to demonstrate how powerful this tool can be!

I could not let this question go. It sat with me, still does. I don’t know exactly why. There is, after all, plenty to think about in this essay, not to mention the rest of Leopold’s work leading up to the Land Ethic. There was something in this question, “why green fire?” There has to be some symbolism in “green”, right? This is not necessarily something I spend much time doing (at least not since school) – reflecting deeply on a piece of writing, let alone one word in it… and yet I could not get this question out of my mind. I suspect this question will stay with me for a while…I guess that is one of the points of this workshop: Get people thinking!

          Somewhere in the day – I can’t really remember when… This is a recurring theme in my life lately – one that I blame on a 40+ year old brain coupled with multiple responsibilities, some work projects that I put on hold to attend this training, a family, my 2.5 year old son that I can’t stand to miss, my dog that needs walking and my parents watching them both…for the first time at our house… There are many issues here – ones that keep my mind and stomach churning. Who knew when I signed up for this training that Jenny would have a late night meeting too! And who knew that our usual baby-sitter would go off and get a real job! The love of grandparents is an amazing thing for sure, I am just not sure what they remember about me being that age, and how they dealt with it…I am not sure if they know where everything is…we tried to gather everything needed but you never know…and besides, my dad is more likely to make it up than to ask…I am not sure whether what they do remember is reality or a romantic view of the past…

          Back to the question! I could not shake it- then it struck me…For as long as I can remember, starting with trips through the back roads of southern Wisconsin, in those days, sitting-or more likely standing-between my grandparents or with my family I always had the same job:

“Keep an eye out for those green eyes, we don’t want to hit a deer!”

I don’t know for sure whether a wolf’s eyes reflect green in the light (some animals don’t) but seeing the green eyes of countless deer and many other animals (including some dogs) I feel I found the symbolism of “green” for this story…at least in my mind. In the essay, Leopold is looking back to this point in history, his history as well as the country’s, and recalling this particular event. Like a light shining on an animal’s eyes in the distance, seeing the old wolf die had a profound effect on him. Like the first glimpse of green as the light first strikes the animal’s eye, at first you don’t know exactly what you are seeing…but with gathering time, and information, a form comes out of the light.

This answer speaks to me at this point in my life. Being the father of a young son who changes almost daily…In the middle of a career that I hope is on track…Living in a place that, although surrounded by beautiful natural resource, is also lonely… At a time where our state and country are so polarized that even good friends and family can find themselves ripped apart at the seams. As I reflect on my life, I see many questions left unanswered:

Can I live here?

Why can’t I live there?

Does my work progress my career goals?

 My life goals?

Am I really capable of making the impact I want?

How do you connect people to their surroundings?

To the natural world, or at least what is left of it?

How do we, as a society, as a species, fit in nature?

Why does it all matter?

In my world, the answers over the past two and a half years can be boiled down to one word: Jackson. My hope is that these questions somehow also resonate with others, and, more important that they have an answer that matters to them. This is, after all, the meaning behind my personal mission statement; why I chose the fields of education and natural resources as a vocation…and avocation; why I started this blog in the first place; and, most importantly what I hope to pass on to Jackson.

In my simple-minded view, I think that maybe Aldo Leopold was wrestling with some of these same questions. And, from a retrospective view, the light of his journey shined on a source, the dying wolf’s eyes, reflecting green in the distance. Maybe…

For me, the Land Ethic Leaders training provided an opportunity to develop skills with a new facilitation technique which will help me in my work. It revitalized and re-connected me with my own goals in an inspiring location.  And it connected me with new friends on similar missions and that I can learn from. If you are on a similar journey, I highly recommend this training! This, along with many other events can be found on the Aldo Leopold Foundation’s website.

http://www.aldoleopold.org/

 

 

 

A Day With Jackson

It has happened a few times, preciously few since my paternity leave ended almost two years ago…I had the great opportunity to spend the day with Jackson, just the two of us. Last year Jenny and I took Jackson to Farm Technology Days. Not exactly the same as a walk or ski in the woods… or an evening on the River… or our first fishing outing…but the boy loves big equipment like tractors, combines, and bobcats, and what better place to see it than Wisconsin’s largest outdoor farm show! And besides I had a little work to do at the show. So this year when Jenny couldn’t go and the first day was pushing 100 degrees, I was not sure this would work out. But the weather broke for a change and I had the time so Jackson and I made the trip together, alone… It seemed to take FOREVER to get there, I suppose even more so for Jackson, I kept telling him we were going to see tractors, but patience is not a virtue, at least not at 2.5 years! And 2.5 hours in the truck is a long trip for anyone! WELL we did make it and of course the Weather Man was off on the forecast! Temps were good but a nasty persistent light drizzle to rain combination did not bode well for us…and besides, I did not think, after nearly a month with temps in the mid 80′s for minimums and over 100 many times, I did not think to pack a jacket for him! Luckily I have some blankets for Rosie and a spare rain jacket that I keep handy in my truck! When we finally got out of the truck, we had a long hike across the mowed hay field that was the parking area before we finally made it to the show. I think Jackson wa not sure what I was getting him into, he couldn’t see any tractors, luckily there were a lot of other people, many trucks and the occasional school bus to build his excitement. And thank goodness to the great planning by the Farm Technology Days folks, first thing inside the gate was…COMBINE!

The day turned from a good day riding with dad to an unbelievable day, with so many combines and tractors to drive that I was not sure that his little mind could be contained! We drove green combines and red combines, ALL the red tractors starting with the biggest and making our way to the smallest…Up ladders, down ladders, in cabs out of cabs. Jackson was having a blast! The light rain seemed to give way and let him have the time he needed to explore this wonderland of giant steel toys! Jackson did let me drag him away a while, just long enough to go talk with some colleagues and clean out our booth, lucky for me friends like Jenny V had gifts (he won’t let his water bottle go Jenny!) and there were cows and calves to see. Jackson even wanted to check out the soil pit…”what is this Daddy?”

“A soil pit Jackson, Daddy and Mommy are both Soil Scientist and used to look at soil pits.”

“My see?” he asked and, with my heart swelled with pride, in we went…I started to point out soil horizons and explain the differences and he says “My done Daddy!” I guess he tried to humor me but he was promised a day of tractors and we were getting farther away from them…Patience and 2.5 don’t go hand in hand…

So back to the tractors. We “drove” many more tractors and a couple combines before he found another favorite…”BOBCATS!” Jackson LOVES bobcats, they are the tractor we actually get to see regularly around town! There were so many “bobcats” that I was starting wonder if we were ever going to get out of the show…in fact, at this point I don’t even completely recall how I managed to drag him out…I guess it was just time.

We ended our time at the 2012 Farm Technology Days show with a tractor ride back to the truck. At first this was very exciting and Jackson seemed in heaven riding on the wagon…as the ride dragged on though (we were the last to get dropped off!) he became less sure of the idea! The wagon, with fewer and fewer people, became more and more bouncy not to mention rattly and loud. I think he was not sure that this gizmo was going to get us back to the truck!

Well finally it did. The next task – find a park with a shelter for our picnic! This took a bit of exploring but we finally ended up at a little park on the Wolf River in New London! We were having a great time, Jackson eating his PB & J and I had my sandwich. The conversation never ended…it rarely does with Jackson, the only exception being when he is a sleep! Somewhere in the middle of our picnic and older mad pulled in to use the facilities. Jackson yelled “Hi”and waved. The man asked “are you having a picnic?” and Jackson says “Yeah!”

The guy says ” he will remember that when he is 68 like me!”

I hope so!

We ended the trip with a surprise visit to Grandma and Grandpa E’s just in time to see the ”Cherry Picker take the guy super high” to do some tree trimming! What a way to top off the day!

I am not sure if Jackson will remember this day when he is 68 but I am sure I will!

Firsts…

A couple weeks ago Jackson, Rosie and I headed out for our first solo boat ride. I have to admit I was a little nervous as we were getting the boat off the lift and loading up but he caught on soon enough…and we loaded up and were off! Jackson was pretty excited as he had momma’s front seat all to himself! THIS IS A BIG DEAL! He loved just riding along with the view from above! Evenings on the lake are a wonderful, peaceful time. Once the 5:30 no-wake period hits, a peaceful calm settles over the lake. And by this time the lake had settled back to normal. Jackson had been looking forward to a ride in Daddy’s Boat all week, and now was finally time to go, and he got the front seat to boot!

So off we went. Rosie took her usual first-mate perch in the bow, keeping a keen watch for bass or other dogs (whichever came first), Jackson sat proudly in momma’s seat and I manned the motor. Jackson is not the fan of no-wake time as I, “Go fast Daddy” kept coming over the sound of the engine…another time J-man! And some day maybe he will appreciate the peacefulness of 5:30…

After about half the lake, Jackson noticed my fishing poles, “what this dad?”

“Fishing poles Jackson.” He was not sure what to think of that although he loves to play fish on our dog walk trips to the river…and has caught many after epic battles with the fish running all the way under the bridge (about a ¼ mile down river…)…

“My try?” he asked.

“Sure pal” I said not totally sure this was a good idea…not sure whether my pole would make it back in one piece, let alone at all…or if we would be doing some emergency surgery to remove the hook from either Rosie or I…but I could not resist and had to let him try. I could just imagine the surprise and excitement when one of the 14 inch largemouth bass hit the jig! Well no such luck this time, he did have blast trying and dad, if you are reading this, way outlasted me at that age! We will be heading back up to the cottage soon, hopefully this time we can catch something…like that matters when there are memories like this one!